You Start Trading to Get Back to Even

Fifteen minutes before the close.

You're down $50.

You look at the clock.

Then the P&L.

Back to the chart.

Fifty bucks.

That's nothing.

One quick scalp.

ESU15 is moving.

You don't need much.

One point.

Two contracts.

That's it.

Make back the fifty.

Shut it down.

Finish the day flat.

Tomorrow is another day.

You see your chance.

Click.

Filled.

Right away.

Almost too easily.

Your eyes move to the price.

Before you can get your target and stop where you want them a point against you.

Then two.

Whoa.

That was fast.

You lean toward the screen.

Okay.

Don't panic.

It'll come back.

You just need a little bounce.

Not even all the way.

Just enough to get out.

Scratch the trade.

Call it a day.

Another tick against you.

Then another.

Your heart is beating a little faster now.

You can feel it.

Your breathing has changed.

Shorter.

Faster.

Your hand stays on the mouse.

Come on.

Just bounce.

One point.

That's all.

Price ticks your way.

There it is.

Then it turns again.

Back against you.

Your shoulders tighten.

You can feel yourself getting warm.

A little sweat under your shirt.

Maybe on your forehead.

You barely notice.

You're watching the price.

Nothing else.

The clock is still moving toward the close.

But you're not thinking about the close anymore.

You're not thinking about the $50 either.

That problem disappeared a few minutes ago.

You have a new problem now.

This trade.

You could get out.

You know that.

The button is right there.

But getting out here feels ridiculous.

Not after it already moved this far.

Surely it'll give you something back.

Just a small bounce.

Then you'll get out.

You promise yourself.

A few more ticks against you.

Your heart beats harder.

Now you're doing math.

If it comes back two points...

No.

One point would be enough.

Actually, half a point.

Just give me half a point.

I'll take the loss.

I don't care.

Just not this loss.

Another tick.

You swallow.

Your eyes haven't left the screen.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Funny.

Fifteen minutes ago you were trying to make $50.

Now you'd happily lose $100.

A few minutes later, $150 doesn't sound so bad.

The number keeps changing.

And each time it changes, the last number suddenly looks pretty good.

But you don't get out.

Because now you're waiting for the bounce.

The one that has to come eventually.

The one that lets you escape.

It doesn't come.

By the time it's over, you look at the screen.

-$487.50.

You lean back.

You take a deeper breath.

Then another.

And stare at the number.

-$487.50.

Fifteen minutes ago, you were down $50.

Maybe you've never lost $487.50 trying to make back fifty.

Maybe your numbers are completely different.

But you've probably seen your version of it.

You're down a little.

Not enough to ruin your day.

Just enough to bother you.

So you take one more trade.

Not because it's the best trade you've seen all day.

Because you're close.

So close.

One winner and the red disappears.

Then you can shut the computer down without carrying that loss around for the rest of the evening.

You've probably even said the words.

"Just one more."

That's the part that's easy to miss.

You started the morning looking for trades.

Now you're looking for a number.

The number you had when the market opened.

Somewhere along the way, it became a place you needed to get back to.

Even.

But where is even?

This morning's starting balance?

Monday's?

The first of the month?

January?

The day you opened the account?

Change the starting point, and even changes with it.

Yet somehow the number you saw this morning feels different.

It feels like yours.

And when part of it disappears, you want it back.

Think about the last time you were almost back to even.

Maybe you were down $400 earlier.

Now you're down $75.

That's a good recovery.

Except it doesn't feel finished.

You're so close.

One more trade.

Then ask yourself something.

Would you take that trade if you were already up $75?

Same chart.

Same setup.

Same time of day.

Only one thing changed.

The number sitting next to your P&L.

Would you still click?

Fifteen minutes before the close.

You're down $50.

You could shut everything down.

But fifty bucks?

Come on.

One point.

Two contracts.

One quick scalp.

Then you're done.

Fifteen minutes later, you're staring at:

-$487.50.

And that $50 you couldn't stand looking at?

You'd take it back in a heartbeat.

_{Disclosure: Struggling Trader exists to share lessons, observations, and experiences from the markets. I’m here to help people think about trading, not tell them what to buy or sell. Every trader’s situation is different, and all financial decisions are ultimately your own responsibility. Markets carry risk, including the risk of losing money, so always do your own research before investing or trading.}